Embarking On A Course of Study

Jane Austen Fight Club

This is just too brilliant for words.

Elizabeth Gilbert, Lori Smith, Tina Fey and Will You Get On With This Project Already?

(A post in which I complain about everything I'm reading.)

Sometimes I really love my job. And sometimes it sucks the life out of my life. Between it and the fact that I've decided to rent out my house so I can move in with my sister and save money (travel to the UK is also on the agenda), my focus has been elsewhere. There's work to do on the house, documents to file with the property manager, packing.

I just didn't feel like reading anything taxing. I wanted book candy, so I reread Shannon Hales' Austenland. Which is just as fabulous as I remember. See? I am committed - even my fluff reading is Austen-related.

So back to why I love my job. Stick with me, I do have sort of a theme going here. I'm the program director for literary arts with my state's arts council and that meant, last month, I was able to make a site visit to Frederick to hear Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) speak. It was hosted by an organization that may apply for funding and I needed to attend an event, get a feel for what type of events they present, what type of audience attends, etc.

Before I go further, let me say that I think I'm the only person on the planet who didn't fall for Eat, Pray, Love. It was just too 'precious' a story and didn't have enough grit. (I also thought the whole scene on the bathroom floor at the beginning was overly dramatic and self-indulgent. You find out later she knew she shouldn't have married the guy, so how horrible could it have been to know it was time for divorce? Disappointing, sad, sorry to hurt him, but necessary due to a bad decision.) Anyhoo, it was all just too perfect for me.  

And the book/trip was planned. It didn't just happen. That takes the magic out of it.

   So, that said, I did want to hear Elizabeth Gilbert speak, as she's a bona fide phenomenon. She's the Helen Fielding for the Bridget Jones set. These women have now grown up and are in their late thirties/early forties, and are either really worried about getting married and thinking a journey such as this will help them find themselves and figure out what they want, or they're divorced, and need same journey for same reason.

I kind of both admire and dislike EG - because of what she's accomplished and that she's stayed true to herself and chosen the life she wants, and because she got to travel for a year and write, and have all that success too.

It made me think that, maybe the pilgrimage thing is now officially 'done.' I mean, there's EG's book, and there's Lori Smith's book, A Walk With Jane Austen.  Thankfully, though, after reading Lori smith's book, I realize it's not 'done' when it comes to Austen.

 I really wanted to like the book. Lori and I see things similarly sometimes; I often found myself thinking she was going to say something and she then said it. I think that's good. Or it might be predictable. I can't decide. I was leaning on the side of trying to connect with her as a good reader should.

But there's very little joy in the book. Most of it is either about God (there's A LOT of Christianity in this book, which became a drag for me, an ex-Catholic who thinks - well, let's not go into that. People are allowed to believe whatever they wish!), regurgitating Jane Austen info that we can find anywhere (she gives much too much detail that we either already know as good Janeites, or that we could easily find ourselves via Claire Tomalin's biography or some other work), or dissecting a non-existent relationship with a guy named Jack, that she meets at the start of the trip. None of these are positive musings, except the Jane part, as we love Jane, but I would have preferred less rehashing of known info.

One minute she's peaceful and centered and believes she's part of a great plan and accepts that, the next she's miserable due to rain or fatigue or a smelly room, or what she's wearing. That centered quality never seems to stick or build on itself. There's no arc to the story of her travels or to her personal growth (meaning: I don't see the growth. Period). And there's very little in the way of a sense of humor in this book - a 'make the best of it, find the humor in it' mentality.

I mean, she's in freakin' England visiting Austen sites. What is there not to be happy about??? And if she doesn't like what she's wearing, as my friend Shara pointed out, she could have run into an H&M or a Gap and bought something else! If the woman can lie on her couch, ill and away from her job, for six months at a time, she must have money somewhere. It can't be a breaking of the bank to buy another jacket or a sweatshirt.

The fatigue is also a special case. (Spoiler alert ahead). It turns out that Lori has Lyme Disease, which she finds out months after her return when someone finally diagnoses her. I'm so sorry it took so long, sincerely, because I know someone who has Lyme Disease and it was life-threatening for a long while. The person is still not even 70% back to who they were and it's been 7 years. I am, however, super surprised that NONE of her doctors even thought of it. That she never thought of it. Lyme Disease is no longer a secret.

AND - the farthest she goes with it is to keep saying she's 'tired' or 'really tired' or 'too tired to think,' which, frankly, from a writer, is not good enough. A writer creates a metaphor for the feeling, the illness, the situation, which gives the reader some entrance into the experience so we can tune in and possibly even commiserate. A writer explores and builds on that metaphor so the feeling, illness, situation changes and evolves during the journey. Whether that means it grows better or worse. A writer creates the means to dialogue with the illness. Uses it as an opportunity for self-exploration.

(This has nothing to do with anything, but what's up with dropping the 'ue' from dialogue and spelling it dialog? Looks like computer-speak. Well, I won't change it spell-check, so back off.)

Which is what I thought the 'faith' in the title - 'a journey into adventure, love, and faith' referred to, at least partly. Faith in oneself, earned on this trip. Only it wasn't earned.

She also makes a huge error in judgment in the beginning of the book with the man she meets. He quickly eclipses the purpose of the trip and takes over the narrative, and I was so disappointed that, with Jane Austen heroines as examples of what to do and what not to do right there in her suitcase, she loses her focus and creates this love story about her and this man. 

He doesn't make a single move on her and tells her he's started seeing someone back in the US. She ignores this and decides at the end of the week that she's in love with him. After all they did was spend a lot of time together and have great conversations. And she nurses the fantasy for the rest of the trip and beyond.

That this happens in the very beginning of the book, that she doesn't see through the situation and choose wisely, meant I couldn't think of her as a reliable narrator because she lacked good judgment in my opinion.

Coupled with the fairly constant misery and the jumping around she constantly does in the 'narrative,' as well as the lack of real description of places she visits - a paragraph or two at the most is all that's given so a sense of place isn't given -the book was a dud for me. I don't think she realized the kind of story she could have told. I just don't think she really knew what she wanted out of it or how to just let it flow.

So, overall: no faith. No love. No adventure. I gave the book to Shara, who is much nicer than I am in general, and more forgiving when it comes to narrators and writing, and as she read it she wrote me an email every day about how much she was hating the book. So there.

 I don't really have a connection to Tina Fey in this post, except that she strikes me as a 21st century Austen in her medium - television. She's the edgy, sarcastic, funny, sometimes bitter side of all of us. As Elizabeth Gilbert is the open, loving, spiritual, innocent side. I think we should do justice to both. Plus, my best friend swears Tina Fey reminds her of me. I'm taking that as a compliment.

I haven't just been completely idle, I have started Evelina by Fanny Burney and have decided two things:

ONE: personally, it's hard for this modern female reader to fully enjoy books like this (and Udolpho) because the 'heroines' are not very likable (I'm being nice). I see they are trapped by social codes, but Austen's heroines at least had backbones and self-love. So far these girls are malleable, naive, and flighty. Reading a book written entirely in letters is also incredibly tedious.

TWO: it's also a little far-fetched (maybe this is the modern female reader issue again) to me that Evelina would write these elaborate, girly, 'Dear Diaryish' letters to the Rev. Villars, her guardian, who's an old man. The level of detail she has to provide in order for the reader to follow the story and be remotely interested, is just silly when you remember that an old man who lives in the country is reading them, not a girlfriend, which is how they sound like they are being addressed. If she was writing to Lady Howard, friend and advisor of the Rev. Villars, that would be more plausible.

As an aside, the men are irritating, cloying, and pompously idiotic. No wonder Austen's work was so admired when it came out. She must have been a much needed breath of fresh air.

I'll go into more about Fanny Burney in another post. I think she's terrific. This is long enough!

Contrary to what my complaining might indicate. I am still enjoying the reading process and exploring these books. I just hope to find some that cast that Book Spell we all love, and that will teach me something. Perhaps I should consider recognizing the losers in Evelina as Men I Would Never Date Again (because I have - we all have), a victory already - a lesson learned. Check that off.

It's cold and gloomy here today. I have the heater on under my desk and am going to make myself some tea and listen to Greg Wise read something to me on the Carte Noire website. That should pick me up.

Two Sets Forward, Three Heys Back; New Austen Biography, Juliette Wells Follow Up

Boy am I sucking with regard to this blog lately. Sorry. I've been focusing on my writing - both my novel (doing final edit, very slowly, and adding some scenes), and my poems (revising 8-10 of them and sending them out, which takes forever, as the lit mags are super picky about their guidelines - exhausting). Plus meeting with both my fiction and poetry critique groups. These are all good things, but haven't left much time for reading and blogging.

So here I am catching up again!

I went to another English Country Dance (ECD) at St. Mark's Church on Monday.It's been two months since the class I organized at the Baltimore Hostel and the ECD I went to the next night at St  Mark's. Boy did I suck there too. I was okay for the first two dances, but in the next few, ended up at places in the set where I and my partner were standing out, so we didn't get to do the practice at the start of the dance. I don't know about you but I learn by doing not watching, so without that practice, I was chaos in heels (well, not really, I was in flats, but you know what I mean).

I know it shouldn't have frustrated me because it was all in good fun - and it is fun and the people are so lovely and patient and encouraging - but I was frustrated. The snowstorms kept me from going back in February and then, as mentioned, I was working on my writing in March, so now I have to try to make more of a regular effort. I have plans to go back in two weeks.

It was the 'heys' that got me. I really got totally lost in them. This is the figure in which you cross and recross the other members of your group in the set. Your group can be four or six people. Sometimes you cross once in a square, sometimes you go down the set a few people and back. Sometimes both! If I had stood in the center of the set and people had spun me as they went past I couldn't have been more disoriented.

But, as mentioned, everyone was so nice about it, and my partners especially. At the end several other men came up to tell me they'd ask me to dance next time (I always leave at the break, which is about 9:15 pm, because of work the next day). So sweet. I just can't say enough about what a great group of people you'll meet at an ECD!

I also finished Sanditon, The Watsons, and Lady Susan (of the three, only Lady Susan is complete, the others are unfinished) and enjoyed Lady Susan the most. I read that a theater in NYC is staging a reading of it as a fundraiser on April 12th, but can't handle another trip to NYC so I'll have to miss. It's wonderfully irreverent and witty and lively. Lady Susanhas a marvelous voice and is deliciously wicked. A voice Austen never returned to (except maybe a little dabble via Mary Crawford). Maybe it was just too nasty and she felt she didn't want to get sucked in to that. I find that so interesting after all the murders, infidelities, and scandals reported to take place in her juvenalia.

The Watsons was of little interest to me, though I enjoyed the heroine. Her family was dreadful, I could see Fanny Price returning to Portsmouth and being confronted by the poor manners of her family in this story. And the level of detail about one dance - before and after! Not as interesting for this reader as it was for the characters, in my opinion. It didn't feel as polished as her other works. I'm sure scholars find much to dissect in this and the other works but, again, I'm not a scholar.

Sanditon was sort of a mix of Northanger Abbey and Persuasion for me, in terms of tone. Charlotte Heywood seems very much like Catherine Morland, but there's not enough of her for me to connect with her, or any other character. They just didn't feel as substantial as in P&P and S&S. The similarity to Persuasion, for me, was in the location - the seaside, and the number of characters all coming together in this little village. And now, I have to say, maybe a bit of Mansfield Park, as the Earl and his sister seem a bit like the Crawfords.

I am now halfway through the Claire Tomalin biography. There's a new one out, by the way, here's the interview with the author, Claire Harman, on NPR. It's called Jane's Fame: How Jane Austen Conquered the World. (Yes, Linda Wertheimer does actually say 'gothic-ee.' Hmmm.) 

 

Now, as promised, let me catch up on my meeting with Juliette Wells.

Juliette is on the left.  :)

Here is a link to the podcastof her talk at Goucher:

Let me just say that I really need to work on this interviewing business. I ended up getting us into too chatty of a place about the books and Marianne and love of Austen  and not enough focus on real questions.

A reminder that she's writing about how Austen has been appropriated by popular culture. So we ended up talking about that and all the books out there, many of which you have surely read! 

Books like:

Jane Austen's Guide to Dating

A Walk With Jane Austen

Dating Mr. Darcy

Dear Jane Austen

What Jane Austen Taught Me About Life and Love

Tarot of Jane Austen (seriously! I don't have that one)

She asked me my favorite Austen novel (Persuasion), and told me that's the thinking person's Austen, which made me happy. By the way, this not being your favorite doesn't mean you're a non-thinker!

And we discussed Marianne and Elinor a bit. She asked me if I thought Marianne had compromised herself in marrying Col. Brandon - she's modeling herself on Elinor, sacrificing her romantic and creative sides (creative - music playing, which she doesn't do after Willoughby, despite what the movies show you). After rereading the book, I was reminded that the text does say that Marianne was a reward for all Col. Brandon had suffered. Much as I adore him myself, that's not very positive. And Marianne grows to love him. Also not quite what one would wish.

And what of Elinor, who is tested time and time again throughout the book? Juliette said that Austen needs people to be like Elinor, using sense to rule emotions. But, for us, a balance between the two sisters is better and more sensible.

We discussed my project and that's when she told me about the 18th century practice of reading for moral improvement. Fiction was included in the reading list as long as the characters were admirable and the story worthwhile, if it expressed good principles. The main characters need to experience a moment of humiliation and then a a thorough self-examination and self-reproof for bad behavior.

This is what made me realize I'm doing the project as a pilgrimage to the self as well as a plundering of the self.

We discussed the Chawton Fellowship and she encouraged me to contact them to inquire about my project, and then I let her go. It was her last day at Goucher and I didn't want to take up any more than a half hour of her time.

For more of her articles go here.

I greatly appreciate her time and her serious consideration of my project and its questions. If you have the chance to hear her speak, please go! And keep checking Amazon for her book - maybe next year.

Now it's time to go through the novels and my notebooks and make the Marianne Reading List once and for all. I will, of course, start with Cowper.

Good to be back!

Six Month Check Up: Where the Devil Are We?

 In keeping with Dating Mr. Darcy's prescription for self-examination (discussed in a previous post), I applied the four steps: solitude, self-analysis, admission (she says confession, but I like admission better), and moving forward. I'm not going to break down my delvings into each step, but instead just write a free flowing response that was inspired by a piece of fan fiction.

I also want to add some notes on self-awareness from the website www.sheerbalance.com. Here are the elements:

empathy

admission (admitting when you're wrong)

acknowledging and working on flaws

humility

likability

tolerance

And some questions from the website to ask yourself to get started:

1. Do you listen to others during a conversation?  Or, do you tend to do a lot of the talking?
2. Do you ask others how they feel about situations?  Or, do you make assumptions based on your own feelings?
3. Do you think about how your actions affect others?  Or, are you confident that others are fine with how you handle situations?
4. Are you aware of other people’s social cues?  Or, do you mostly focus on your own?
5. Can you admit when you are wrong, and have apologized when you are?  Or, do you tend to think that things are wrong or go bad because of others?

_____________________________________________________

Okay, so on with the examination. Hope you've got stamina. This is a long one.

Per my post of a couple of weeks ago - during the snowstorms - I sort of stalled on this project. I felt I needed a thesis. I couldn't articulate to anyone, very clearly, why I was doing this project. I knew what the project entailed, but not what its purpose was or where I hoped to end up. Now I do.

In Mr. Bennet's words, read on!

A QUESTION OF CHARACTER

During the snowstorms we had, between the shoveling, my car’s dead battery, and trying to catch up on work remotely, I could only focus on Austen fan fiction, specifically, as mentioned earlier, Pamela Aidan’s trilogy about Darcy’s version of P&P.

 

In the third book, Darcy and Georgiana have a conversation about character, both having learned about their own—the core realization of what has colored their ideas, beliefs, and behaviors, until they both experienced an awakening—Georgiana through her near-miss with Wickham, and Darcy through Elizabeth’s refusal of his proposal.

 

Here’s what the narrator tells us about Darcy when he’s lamenting his bad behavior and lack of self-awareness: “Yet, in all the upright principles he imbibed and all their attendant expectations in whose precise fulfillment he took pride, he saw now that he was a mere observer, a creature of convention and propriety. Never had he allowed the world beyond his immediate family any claim upon him…Like a chess master, he had ordered his life according to his own unbridled prejudices and the conceits of his class, congratulating himself on his adherence to them and dismissing all that did not conform to them as unworthy of his consideration.”

 

(Let’s pause here and admit – at least I will – that we all do this. We make changes or changes come into our lives, or into the larger world, things are shaken up and, as a result, the veils are lifted; we see our lives, actions, thoughts, feelings, behavior, habits, desires (you name it) as clearly as if lightning is flashing in our brains, and we see what must be adjusted. It all seems so simple. The window doesn’t stay open long, though. How many adjustments we manage before it closes and the new status quo takes hold is up to us. I feel like this blog is one such window.) 

 

Georgiana’s reply is this, “I have always been encouraged to think so well of myself. Insulated by wealth and rank from any serious demand upon my character, I had little experience of its worth. I have since learned that in those more important things I am poor, helpless, and needy. It was the most important lesson I have in this life to learn.”

 

I know this is fan fic, so not Austen speaking to us, but it still struck home for me. I was raised solidly middle class, not upper, but every class has its own sphere within which it harbors its own beliefs and prejudices designed to exclude. You don’t have to have money to be insulated. Everyone within the class is trying to meet and keep the basic standards. In my ‘safe’ little surburban world the houses were all the same, there were 2-3 children per family, a dog, Dad went to work, Mom stayed home, we took our annual vacation to the beach, and everyone looked like us. There wasn't any poverty or violence or addiction. No job loss. No serious illness. No orphaned or abandoned or neglected or abused children. No bad things. Which we all know is B.S. That stuff is just well hidden. But I grew up not really knowing it existed for the longest time.

 

I grew up Catholic, as mentioned, and the church and my parents fed me what was right and wrong and, like most lessons when you’re young, I learned them by repetition and memorization, not experience. As a teenager, I had the usual tests of character—drugs, drinking, sex and successfully navigated them all. But what’s at stake here, in terms of what Darcy and Georgiana are discussing and referring to about character, is something different.

 

They are referring to a mixing with, a curiosity about, an attempt to understand, a respect and compassion for - those outside of their class. Those living a very different sort of life from them. And acknowledging that your class doesn't dictate who you are inside - your character. Having all the privileges in the world and accepting the right principles from one's parents doesn't make you of good character. It's how you put what you know into practice.

 

When I look at my life in those terms, I'm still insulated. I live in Southeast Baltimore, in a very diverse mix of cultures and races--Greek, Polish, Latino, African-American, Hungarian, White--and different income levels. I live near people who make a lot of money, and I live near a drug dealer who wears dirty clothes and never leaves his house. And many other types of people in between. Drug dealer aside, this diversity is why I love living here. I chose to live in this area, to get as far away from the insular middle class suburban world as I could. But putting oneself in the right place doesn't make for instant interaction, friendship, or knowledge of people unlike yourself. You can still be isolated. You have to engage. Not for the sake of doing something - but doing something you can put your heart into.

 

I pass a shelter for men every day on my way home, notice the line of men stretched around the corner, waiting to get in for the evening meal and a bed, and it doesn't completely register - it's something  I notice on the way home—like people waiting for a bus. It's part of the normal cycle of the day in my neighborhood. I just use that as an example. To make this about volunteering at soup kitchens or something is to be superficial and dismissive about both volunteering and the depth of the question about character. It's an understanding of self, something you project, exude, naturally, and then it's about how your offer that understanding to others in all situations. And it can be uncomfortable as you step out of your safe zone.

 

Which takes courage and curiosity. I feel I am sorely lacking in curiosity of late. Aside from this project, curiosity seems an indulgence I just don't have time for. Or rather, that I'm not making time for. I need to cultivate some curiosity about myself, for this project, even, and haven't been doing that deeply at all. And curiosity beyond myself? Nonexistent at this moment. Terrible realization! To not cultivate it also seems indulgent. Ack.

 

And what does this have to do with Austen? Class and the differences between them (and therefore limitations of interaction) are an intrinsic part of the novels, but really, Austen is more concerned with a character’s integrity, with his or her use of good principles, having the to command the self. All of this within the sphere of propriety and social codes where they do honor to another, not give certain classes permission to be arrogant and conceited and full of pride.

 

So individual first, exhibiting a good sense of right and wrong, and respect and compassion for one’s fellow man and woman and oneself. Good manners, but with a good heart and a good mind behind them. I think of Emma with her basket visiting the poor and sick because she thinks she should. Like her resolution to be a better reader. And giving gifts of pork to Miss Bates for the same reason. Through Mr. Knightley she learns that the gifts should be given out of mutual respect and the honor of being in a position to be of service to someone else.

 

Oh, good manners, the very basic way to start down the road to character, how we miss you in today’s world! We get impatient and/or ignore people, like the person checking out our groceries or the toll collector on the highway. Even a professor or our dentist. We have a lot to do and getting groceries, getting to work, getting our teeth cleaned is just one of many things on our list and we need to get them checked off as quickly as possible. The people involved can become a means to an end—they are their office, the service(s) they perform—not real people with real lives and feelings.

 

Worse still, how often do we treat ourselves in this way—ignore our feelings, needs, our bodies, our dreams, because we just don’t have time for them!

 

And Marianne, as Colonel Brandon’s wife, will now, as we’re told, have tenants to look after, and a new sense of obligation to others as mistress of Delaford. How hard won this understanding of herself and what’s expected of her has been! She had to nearly die, she’s stopped playing music (we assume she’ll pick it back up again now that she’s over Willoughby), and (much as I adore Colonel Brandon) she’s also pretty much ‘gifted’ to Colonel Brandon as a sort of reward for all of his suffering. Yes, she grows to love him, and growing to love someone isn’t a bad thing, but the tone of how that’s offered to us sounds a little sad for all involved.

 

The absence of Marianne’s lively spirit is such a palpable loss. She’s making the right choices and doing the right things, but something is missing. She’s broken in a way Elinor is not broken, because Elinor was able to manage her feelings. Marianne is rushing to extremes with her 'course of serious study' but it is a worthy endeavor and we hope she'll find her true level and not entirely turn her back on romantic poetry.

 

Interesting how nearly dying seems a more legitimate way to mourn a lost love, rather than keeping a hold of oneself and being upset but realistic. How we have been convinced that to be carried away, uncontrollably, by one’s feelings, to indulge them completely is the true way. The way of true romance, where having a romantic nature is something to be proud of. Women are encouraged by movies and books and magazines to perpetuate the romantic dream. I think it crowds out - robs us of - the sensibility we need, that Elinor has.

 

But back to character. I give myself a 7 on the scale from 1 to 10.  I think one should leave room for improvement. (After reading this, you may have decided I'm a 4!) We all like to think we are 8s, 9s, and 10s, but think carefully! If you are, good for you. Really. Please leave me a comment about why you feel you are (or are not). In the meantime, I will pay attention to the smallest of moments in which I'm called to do better.

 

This is why I’m doing this project. To wake up to my character, my heart, my life, and those around me—stranger or friend. To be reminded by Austen of the true north of ‘good’ and ‘right.’ WWJD – What Would Jane Do? I guess. Or Lizzy, Anne, Elinor….To improve my mind, but be more of the world and its people and ideas, by comparison to the past - historical, literary, etc. Somehow I’m understanding the present and preparing for the future by reading into the past. This makes a jumbled sort of sense to me.

 

Things really became clear after I met with Professor Juliette Wells, the Austen Scholar visiting my alma mater, Goucher College, as their Burke Jane Austen Visiting Scholar (awarded every other year). The recipient comes to Goucher for a week, gives a talk, meets with faculty and students, and does research in the Austen collection created by the Burkes (Henry Burke, apparently, cofounded JASNA with Joan Austen-Leigh and J. David Gray in 1979. The first 25 years of the JASNA archives are at Goucher).

 

Juliette was very supportive of my project and asked great questions that helped me clarify my purpose. She told me that my project was in keeping with the 18th Century tradition of reading literature for the purpose of moral improvement. (I'll go more into our discussion in another post.) That really clicked for me and started the parting of the clouds. I listened to her interview on Penguin Classics On Air (link to follow) and here's what she said about Lizzy Bennet (remember, I'm told I'm like Lizzy in every quiz I take) that completed the clearing for me:

 

 "I think people are very attracted to a character like Elizabeth, who is determined to find her own happiness. She will not compromise....She is waiting to be appreciated by someone who knows her for who she is and who can help her become a better person. And if you put it that way, this connects directly to our own search in the 21st Century to actualize ourselves and become the fullest version of ourselves. "

 

That's it! My purpose for this project. To use this course of study as a means of moving forward to self-actualization and becoming the fullest version of myself. I honestly believe that Marianne's course of study, once she stopped blaming and berating herself for her past behavior and found her level, served her the same purpose.

 

Here's the link to the interview. Hope this wasn't too much of a ramble.

 

Why We Love Jane Austen - Juliette Wells interview on Penguin Classics On Air

Stalled by the Thunder Snow

You'd think that two back to back giant thunder snowstorms (yes, snow with thunder and lightning!) would inspire me to hunker down with my project, but I've been doing a ton of shoveling (car and street), then had a dead battery to take care of, and am trying to work remotely as we're shut down at the arts council all this week. It's time for Maryland's Poetry Out Loud regionals and I've had to reschedule two of them, which has been rather chaotic.

It's still snowing as I write this and another storm is expected Sunday. Here's a picture of my street under nearly four feet of snow, courtesy of one of my neighbors:

So my plans to go English Country Dancing have been thwarted, though I might be able to go this coming Monday if the next storm isn't too bad.

I have to admit, also, here at the six month point in this project, that I feel a little at loose ends. The reading process has been slow (I've been reading fan fic during the storm - the Pamela Aidan trilogy about Darcy's side of P&P - I can't help it! Fan fic is perfect for a snowstorm, though her Darcy is immediately too lovestruck and obsessed over Elizabeth so tension is missing, and there's a gothic tale in the second book that's more worthy of Bronte's Jane Eyre than Austen, so I haven't been as captivated by the books as I wanted to be), and a bit at sea in terms of process. I need to get back on track and also feel that I need some kind of thesis, which bugs me. Just experiencing the readings and learning as I go should be enough - not needing to produce anything. I'll be happy with a shift in my own self-awareness and consciousness, really. That's what counts. But the left brain side of me, the logical, analytical side, wants some kind of question that will be answered by the end.

It's time to refocus. Strangely hard to do with so much unstructured down time because of the storm. 
 

A Sign From Jane?

Yesterday I had my own little 'Serendipity' moment (think John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale movie). I was given a dollar bill in my change with this written on it:

Is this Jane, telling me I can find her there? Or John Cusack? Either way, I'll go!

Marianne Didn't Have a Job

Okay, well, underestimated - just a teeny bit - how hard it would be to work this 'course of study' stuff into my already jam-packed daily life. My job alone, these days, is sucking my soul dry, and that makes it hard to have the energy to read let alone be thoughtful about it. I'd really rather just revel in P&P like a normal reader - enjoying Austen's wit and intelligence and the unfolding of the romance between Lizzy and Darcy. But no, I had to go and read the damn intro first so now there are themes and metaphors banging rudely through my head like these (and I quote):

"The marriage contract between Elizabeth and Darcy is effectively a political agreement between the aristocracy and the bourgeoisie, embodying a mutual adjustment in which power on the one hand and critique on the other are softened and aesthetized into a harmonious relationship."

Oh yeah, I can guarantee you that we writers are DEFINITELY thinking in those terms when we're plotting our plots, "That's it! It'll be a mutual adjustment....blah blah power....blah blah critique...and then they'll be aesthetized and all live happily ever after!"

Nothing says good reading like 'aesthetized.' Nothing says love like 'mutual adjustment.' Put that in your wedding vows, ladies.

Jesus, can theorists and scholars kill a good story or can they kill a good story? I mean, yes, it's a class thing, and a power thing, and a male/female thing. It's about the society's complex hierarchical structure and social codes. Duh. Let's not make a huge deal out of it.

Two of the multitude of things addressed were interesting:

1) "The eye is the focus of erotic energy. It is the only public expression of libido and available both to the perceiver and the perceived in a social order where sexual feeling is displaced...."

"The anxiety of the eye in the novel comes from a sense that the eye's discourse betrays - both by signifying too much and too little, and by exposing too much or concealing too much. The eye is the source of misprisions, making necessary the exhaustive process of interpretation."

She's really pushing it with "eye's discourse" and "misprision" but it gets behind the codes and the play on observe that is used alot (to make an observation and to see something) in the book. The eyes are the only thing each person is free to really make use of, to convey their real self and feelings. And they do, to varying degrees, adding to the wonderful subtext. So I'm overlooking the mode of transmission when it comes to her ideas. Ha.

And no, I'm not going to tell you what misprision means. I'm assuming you're reading this because you're an English major so you should know it already. And if you don't, then you should suffer the same humiliation and self-recrimination I did in having to look it up. 

I'll save the number two thing I liked (it's that picturesque stuff I mentioned in another post) for tomorrow.

Things Begin in Earnest

Well, like a good little student, I am slogging through the introduction to P&P, at the same time as I read the text. I can only take the intro in small doses. Like so many intros, the writer/scholar/theorist/whatever tries to take on too many themes, the aesthetics of the entire 18th and 19th centuries, the ideas of as many writers and intellectuals of the period as possible, and even down to dissecting the words 'pride' and 'prejudice' with entries from Mr. Johnson's dictionary. Oh my head.

It's not that there aren't good ideas, but I did use the word slog on purpose. It's not organized well and she really should have picked one thing and stuck with it. I'll transcribe here the ones I found interesting. But later. After some Advil.

I will say that the most fascinating of the subjects she tackles is the aesthetic of the picturesque. I will share quotes on that as well. It really appeals to the poet in me.

My Facebook community has been very supportive of this endeavor (thanks, ladies!) and have passed on contacts for classes, books, even the name and email of a milliner from whom I might receive some instruction in the art. I am happy to report I found an archery class near Annapolis in October. It's age 14 through adult so it may be me and some kids brushing up their skills after summer camp, but I'm going. I was pretty good at archery in junior high, if I recall correctly. Who knows. I've been myopic my entire life - literally, but probably figuratively as well.

After all, the point of this is not just study and discipline and absorbing ideas and dating Jane Austen, but also to stretch my boundaries, learn new skills, step out of my comfort zone, make a fool of myself, too, if that happens. That's life.

I had the good fortune to be able to have lunch with my mentor and ex-thesis advisor at the University of Maryland who loved the idea of my project and suggested the following to read:

-Francis Bacon

-Oliver Goldsmith

-Byron (of course)

-Alexander Pope

-John Ruskin

-Sir Thomas Brown

-James Thomson

-Keats

-Wordsworth

Many of whom I read in college, some not enough. So it will be wonderful to revisit them with a purpose.

I'm going to create a typelist with the books I'm noting I should read with titles and publishers and year of publication so you can follow along.

And I'm trying to figure out this domain mapping thing (it's really changed from just a few years ago) so you can find me more easily at www.embarkingonacourseofstudy.com.

If you are reading along, comment on what you're reading. I'd love to hear it.

I have also decided that I should definitely have a seance. This is one of those digressions I mentioned....It's too tempting not to try.

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

I woke up this morning feeling both excited and sick about this project. I'm a program director with my state arts council and VERY busy on that front. I also teach.  I am, occasionally, social, and like to see family and friends as people do. Sleeping is also high on my list. As is reading for pleasure. I hope to keep reading to that level, but one never knows. I remember in grad school how much reading there was and how long it took me after I graduated to pick up a book by choice (two years) that required any real brainpower. I read fluffy stuff to give myself a break.

And you should see the stacks of unread books I have already....

But I do believe life is a continuing education program and it's up to each of us to design our own course of study - over and over and over again. To some degree, this project will give me the intensity and depth I wanted from my MFA program, but couldn't have because there was so much writing, reading broadly through various periods, and theory (blech) to do. Most of it was a repeat of what I did as an undergrad, so that was particularly irksome. And I would never do a PhD program. I sat in classes with those candidates when I was doing the MFA and the amount of mental masturbation going on between them was enough to make you gag.

Also, as mentioned, my brain doesn't work that way. My thoughts go through my feelings first. I am more an intuitive thinker than anything else and it's worked thus far so I'll be going with that!

So a warning to those who comment: if you try to hijack this blog with alot of academic-speak: facts and figures and theory etc. without your own personal framing and feelings about All Things Austen, I will delete you. That's not what this is about.

Think of it as us dating Austen. We're getting to know her and what interested her. Developing skills to be a better partner (i.e. reader) for her. She will woo us and vice versa.

Okay, let's get on with it! What book did I pick first? Hello? Have you been listening? Pride and Prejudice of course, though it fairly leapt off my bookshelf when I walked into my home office. Technically, my fave JA book is Persuasion, which will come next. And the book I look forward to reading the least would be first Emma and then Northanger Abbey. I can't get Gwyneth Paltrow out of my mind's eye when it comes to Emma, and she lacked the mature core of the other heroines. As does Catherine in NA.

Ditto for Keira Knightley in P&P. Ack. She has the neck of a sea monster. Seriously. Put her flat face on the Loch Ness Monster and you'll see what I mean. Sorry to KK lovers. Did I mention I might get snarky? I did love the spirit of Jennifer Ehle's portrayal, but the amount of mascara (rivalled Tammy Faye) and lip gloss was staggering. She was also too old and looked it.

The young woman who played Lizzy in Lost in Austen (an absolutely dreadful mini-series put out last year, I think), clicked more for me, but we didn't see her enough in action, being that she was locked in the modern world while Amanda was in Lizzy's, screwing everything up royally and being rude and coarse and irritating.

I did mention digression.

I plan on compiling a short list of Jane Austen scholars out there and writing to them to ask what five books on what subjects they would suggest I read. I'm hoping they'll get a charge out of the idea of this blog and write back. I will, of course, post the list of these scholars, and their responses.

But before Darcy, the dishes.

The Journey Begins With the First Step: Reread the Novels

Last year, in the spring, Masterpiece Theatre aired the BBC adaptations of all of the Jane Austen novels. It was a brilliant idea and my friends and I were uber excited about it. I arranged gatherings for enthusiastic women of my acquaintance at my home and the homes of some of the women participating. We laughed, we sighed, we ate, we talked--about, among other things (yes, like the Colin Firth lake scene in Pride and Prejudice) how much we'd love to "embark on a serious course of study" as Marianne resolves to do at the end of Sense and Sensibility.

That was over a year ago and the idea has been on my mind a great deal of late. I'm a writer of fiction and poetry, and just completed a novel earlier this year. Usually after a big project, I want to read and read--sort of take in to replace all the pouring out I've been doing.

But I wanted that taking in to have more structure and purpose. And it's always bothered me that, while I know the basics about various literary periods, I don't know any one in particular in any depth. I don't consider myself an intellectual, and I'm definitely not a scholar. What I am is the proverbial voracious, eclectic reader, who also happens to write.

Plus, like so many, I just freakin' love Austen!

So I sat down with my friend Holly and we made a list of subjects into which I should venture--reading the writers on these that Jane and Cassandra might read (as might Marianne in S&S), but also writing that would teach me about the world in which they lived; its science, architecture, fashion, gardens, music, etc. with plenty of room for the sensational (like Mrs. Richardson's novels!), diversions, and digressions as fascinating new information pops up.

There will also be fieldwork wherever possible--embroidery class, millinery, country dancing. Learning whatever arts and skills I can that women of that period surely would have called second nature (i.e. domestic training). I may even go so far as to learn how to read Latin or Greek.

There will be much frustration, humiliation, and revelation involved, I'm certain! I'm looking forward to some boundary-breaking and some magic.

If you have ideas on books, films, museums, a place where I can buy a corset (I'm game to wear one for as long as I can stand it, at least one day)--I'm open to anything and everything within reason (well, maybe not reason, let's just say depending on my mood and bank balance)--please comment or email me at therealwriter@gmail.com. No idea too weird or too small.

I also hope to have some guest bloggers/experts, depending on the subject.

My first tasks, then, are to reread the novels. And, at the same time, a good JA biography. Start researching my list of subjects and choose a direction.

Just a reminder about the no intellectual/scholar thing. I'm just your average reader/writer who wants to be on more intimate terms with Austen and her world. The posts will range from superficial to mostly intelligent to perhaps even insightful. I make no promises!

I have no idea how successful this will be. Follow along at home if you dare!